To all my readers, it has come to my attention that some people do not understand the code. The code has a few different meaning and I will explain.
First of all, I told you before in an earlier entry, that I am a movie buff. The word, code, comes from a movie called Zombieland, if you haven't seen it yet, you should, it is funny. One of the main characters has a code for dealing with Zombies and it is funny. Now I am not saying I or anyone in our family is a zombie, but some of the codes are funny.
The other side of the code is a serious one. The code is an advice blog to help any married man or any man in a serious relationship. The code does not mean that you must tip toe around your significant other. It means that you need to listen, communicate and appreciate her.
I love being married and I love my wife. She is the most amazing woman I have ever met and anyone who thinks more of her, good. Anyone who thinks less of her, shame on you. My wife is also an amazing mother and I am always dumbfounded by her patiences with them. I don't think most men have the patiences that women do.
When I said you should listen to your wife, I did not mean listen to everything she says. One needs to understand that both of you should listen to each other. Men have a tendency to listen less to their significant others, while it is the opposite for women. They are very good listeners.
I have to explain that in the past six years, my wife has been my rock, through thick and thin. I have made many mistakes and I am trying very hard to make up for lost time.
Last but not least, being married is a partnership, something I have only begun to learn. I have much to learn from my wife and I love her so dearly.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
The Code Part 4
Well, I must apologize for such a long time between my last entry in my blog. I hope that you all didn't miss me as much as I missed you.
Here it is, the fourth code in the world of relationships. When you are married or in a serious relationship, especially if you live with that person, you must have realized by now that if you two are going to work, you must never give up. Never stop communicating or your relationship will die. Giving up is what too many people do these days and relationships are work and a partnership. Love, sex and children take a cetain design that we must work at to keep it all going.
The past four years I have been failing as a partner to my wife and I look at myself and feel like such a failure. I will not let this happen anymore. I will succeed, not because that is what she wants. I will succeed because I need to do it for myself and in the end I will be a partner for my wife.
Many people think that you have to live up to other people's expectation to succeed. I have a mother who has always lived up to my step-father and me. I know she loves me, but I wish she had lived her own life in some way.
What I am trying to say, if you are going to be successful, do it for yourself, then spread the wealth. This is how you become a partner to your significant other. This is how you succeed. This is how you take care of yourself and your family. Communicate with her and everyone around you. Never give up on you, her and your family and you will succeed.
Here it is, the fourth code in the world of relationships. When you are married or in a serious relationship, especially if you live with that person, you must have realized by now that if you two are going to work, you must never give up. Never stop communicating or your relationship will die. Giving up is what too many people do these days and relationships are work and a partnership. Love, sex and children take a cetain design that we must work at to keep it all going.
The past four years I have been failing as a partner to my wife and I look at myself and feel like such a failure. I will not let this happen anymore. I will succeed, not because that is what she wants. I will succeed because I need to do it for myself and in the end I will be a partner for my wife.
Many people think that you have to live up to other people's expectation to succeed. I have a mother who has always lived up to my step-father and me. I know she loves me, but I wish she had lived her own life in some way.
What I am trying to say, if you are going to be successful, do it for yourself, then spread the wealth. This is how you become a partner to your significant other. This is how you succeed. This is how you take care of yourself and your family. Communicate with her and everyone around you. Never give up on you, her and your family and you will succeed.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Code Part 3
I know it's hard, but we need to listen. We as husbands need to listen to our wives. Trust me I have learned the hard way. I will admitt, I am not the best listener. I have done things against my wife's wishes and regret it.
I have learned that when I need to do things for the family and the house, I need to write things down. If I do not do this, I will forget to do things.
Think about it, if you need to make phone calls, how are you going to remember all the people you have to phone.
Another reason to listen to your wife, it shows that you respect her and if you respect her, she will respect you by listening to you, also.
One thing I have learned with being married for almost 5 years, I need to be her partner and not her follower. It's hard to learn how to do this, but if you love her and if you have children, you will learn.
I have learned that when I need to do things for the family and the house, I need to write things down. If I do not do this, I will forget to do things.
Think about it, if you need to make phone calls, how are you going to remember all the people you have to phone.
Another reason to listen to your wife, it shows that you respect her and if you respect her, she will respect you by listening to you, also.
One thing I have learned with being married for almost 5 years, I need to be her partner and not her follower. It's hard to learn how to do this, but if you love her and if you have children, you will learn.
Monday, July 12, 2010
The Code 2.5
Every night, my wife and I try to have a wrap up meeting, so we know what happened for the day and what is going to happen tomorrow. We discuss up coming appointments, and the biggest discussion we have is the BUDGET.
If one of you does the budget and the other one wouldn't even know what a budget looks like if it bit him or her in the ass, well you might just have a problem. Money is the number 1 killer of all marriages. Trust me, I have seen my marriage's foundation begin to crumble because of money problems.
What I am trying to say is, couples need to do the budget together. I am not saying that you both need to plan it together, but if one plans the budget, the other one needs to implement it correctly. This will only work if there is communication. A daily wrap up.
Now you might be wondering why I called it code 2.5, well it goes hand in hand with kissing your significant other, kiss them and you will communicate with them. My advice is, and yes I decided to change the title too a little husband advice, to listen and communicate what and how you feel to your spouse.
Anyway, this is what I must conclude with, if you don't talk, then the mortar of your marriage's foundation will begin to crumble and finally the house will fall down.
If one of you does the budget and the other one wouldn't even know what a budget looks like if it bit him or her in the ass, well you might just have a problem. Money is the number 1 killer of all marriages. Trust me, I have seen my marriage's foundation begin to crumble because of money problems.
What I am trying to say is, couples need to do the budget together. I am not saying that you both need to plan it together, but if one plans the budget, the other one needs to implement it correctly. This will only work if there is communication. A daily wrap up.
Now you might be wondering why I called it code 2.5, well it goes hand in hand with kissing your significant other, kiss them and you will communicate with them. My advice is, and yes I decided to change the title too a little husband advice, to listen and communicate what and how you feel to your spouse.
Anyway, this is what I must conclude with, if you don't talk, then the mortar of your marriage's foundation will begin to crumble and finally the house will fall down.
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Code Part Deux
I know, there seems to be a pattern to my last two blogs. And no, I am not french, just a fan of stupid comedic movies, such as Hot Shots and Hot Shots Part Deux.
The Code Part Deux is another secret code between man and woman.
What's the one thing a man should do before he leaves the house, especially if he is married or living with his girlfriend. And especially if their significant other is home, they need to kiss them goodbye. You know what happens if you don't.
The guilt comes from the call, the text or the e-mail. If you don't receive any of these, you will hear it later.
I have done this many times. Today someone told me that I am a great dad and I said thank you. I then said I wish I was a better husband. I guess knowing that I want to improve is half my battle already done. Now if I could just get the motivation to improve my husband abilities.
Think about this, we try to improve everyday and we still seem to fail, it is a cycle. You just have to make a constant strive to improve and if you love her enough, NEVER GIVE UP.
The Code Part Deux is another secret code between man and woman.
What's the one thing a man should do before he leaves the house, especially if he is married or living with his girlfriend. And especially if their significant other is home, they need to kiss them goodbye. You know what happens if you don't.
The guilt comes from the call, the text or the e-mail. If you don't receive any of these, you will hear it later.
I have done this many times. Today someone told me that I am a great dad and I said thank you. I then said I wish I was a better husband. I guess knowing that I want to improve is half my battle already done. Now if I could just get the motivation to improve my husband abilities.
Think about this, we try to improve everyday and we still seem to fail, it is a cycle. You just have to make a constant strive to improve and if you love her enough, NEVER GIVE UP.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The Code
A few weeks ago, my friend's girlfriend asked him if he wanted to do shopping. Of course he gave the face, you know what I am talking about, the face that says I do not really want to go. So she says, "Well, if you don't want to go, then you don't have too." He then said, "Ok, I will stay here." Well, you know what happened then, she said, "Well, fine!" and then she went off in a huff.
The next time I saw him, he tells me what transpired. I say, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark. Don't you know the code?"
He says, "The Code? What's the code?"
I proceed to tell him that he must not know the code, or he would never have had the experience of his girlfriend walking off in a huff and being annoyed with him later.
Well, the code is very simple, but complicated at the same time. If a woman says that if you do not want to, it is ok, you should never answer, well ok. Your response should be, ok, I will.
He then proceeds to say that this is ridiculous and why don't they just say I want you to go shopping with me.
I laughed and told him once you are married, this will all make sense. A woman is not going to tell you out right that she wants you to come, because if she does this, then you say yes and she feels guilty. That is something she doesn't want to live with, the guilt.
The guilt is on you, the boyfriend, the husband or the father, because at an early age, they learn this very well, from no other than their mother. I would know this, because my daughters have done this to me many times.
So the next time she asks, if you don't want to go, you don't have too. You have two choices. You either go with her or you don't and you live with the guilt and the silence or the argument later on.
What I am trying to say here is, do not feel that you have to go every time. Weigh the cons against the pros. If you want to go, then go, but if you do not want to, then stay. Stick to your choice and live with it.
The next time I saw him, he tells me what transpired. I say, Mark, Mark, Mark, Mark. Don't you know the code?"
He says, "The Code? What's the code?"
I proceed to tell him that he must not know the code, or he would never have had the experience of his girlfriend walking off in a huff and being annoyed with him later.
Well, the code is very simple, but complicated at the same time. If a woman says that if you do not want to, it is ok, you should never answer, well ok. Your response should be, ok, I will.
He then proceeds to say that this is ridiculous and why don't they just say I want you to go shopping with me.
I laughed and told him once you are married, this will all make sense. A woman is not going to tell you out right that she wants you to come, because if she does this, then you say yes and she feels guilty. That is something she doesn't want to live with, the guilt.
The guilt is on you, the boyfriend, the husband or the father, because at an early age, they learn this very well, from no other than their mother. I would know this, because my daughters have done this to me many times.
So the next time she asks, if you don't want to go, you don't have too. You have two choices. You either go with her or you don't and you live with the guilt and the silence or the argument later on.
What I am trying to say here is, do not feel that you have to go every time. Weigh the cons against the pros. If you want to go, then go, but if you do not want to, then stay. Stick to your choice and live with it.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The Same Fights Everyday
I must explain my first act as a blogger. Advice is spelled wrong because as a husband and basically a man, I am not perfect. I did however do it on purpose to show that as a human being I am flawed. It is unique and personal to me. Advise is also a word that means to guide with advice. I hope that if you have any questions you will comment on my blog.
Last night when I finally got home from swimming with the children, of course I did a little shopping, request of the wife. I immediately kissed my wife hello and started to clean up my bedroom. I had emptied out my littlest one's suit case of clothes earlier yesterday, so I wanted to put the two small suit cases away in our bedroom closet. I had to move all of this stuff out of the way to get to the door. So I asked my friend, and housemate to move his stuff upstairs.
Well, needless to say, my wife comes in and tells me to move the computer off the dining room table, well I thought she had said she moved it, so I kept straightening. My wife then became angry and said you were supposed to move the computer, you can guess what I said after that. Plus she expected me to know to help her because she was cooking dinner.
Why do women do this? I am not psychic, this is what I tell her all the time. She of course comes back with, you should know that I needed your help. Well, she gets mad and I get upset, but it all works out in the end. She tends to tell me that I am never going to change, but I am trying.
Last night when I finally got home from swimming with the children, of course I did a little shopping, request of the wife. I immediately kissed my wife hello and started to clean up my bedroom. I had emptied out my littlest one's suit case of clothes earlier yesterday, so I wanted to put the two small suit cases away in our bedroom closet. I had to move all of this stuff out of the way to get to the door. So I asked my friend, and housemate to move his stuff upstairs.
Well, needless to say, my wife comes in and tells me to move the computer off the dining room table, well I thought she had said she moved it, so I kept straightening. My wife then became angry and said you were supposed to move the computer, you can guess what I said after that. Plus she expected me to know to help her because she was cooking dinner.
Why do women do this? I am not psychic, this is what I tell her all the time. She of course comes back with, you should know that I needed your help. Well, she gets mad and I get upset, but it all works out in the end. She tends to tell me that I am never going to change, but I am trying.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Being Married
I have been married for almost five years and I think I have made every mistake I could possibly make. I have lost 4 jobs in four years and I have tried to prove that I can be a better husband, but I seem to fail. I always get a job, but cannot seem to keep it.
Well, this time I plan to be a better husband and a better person for myself and my family. I have a job that I like, but I am always aspiring to do more. I am still applying for a better job and also a part-time job to supplement the income. I will not lose my wife and become the weekend dad to my children. I could not accept that as my only choice. I want to be a better man and better husband.
I am not claiming to be an expert on being a husband, I am far from that, but I am a good listener and with my own experiences, I will try to guide you men in the right direction. Do not hesitate to e-mail me with your questions and I will try to answer promptly and to the best of my ability.
Well, this time I plan to be a better husband and a better person for myself and my family. I have a job that I like, but I am always aspiring to do more. I am still applying for a better job and also a part-time job to supplement the income. I will not lose my wife and become the weekend dad to my children. I could not accept that as my only choice. I want to be a better man and better husband.
I am not claiming to be an expert on being a husband, I am far from that, but I am a good listener and with my own experiences, I will try to guide you men in the right direction. Do not hesitate to e-mail me with your questions and I will try to answer promptly and to the best of my ability.
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